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I'm a life-long New Englander, father of 4 challenging kids (I know: I'm supposed to say "wonderful", but while that'd be true, technically speaking, it'd also be misleading), and fortunate husband to my favorite wife of more than 20 years. I've got over 20 years experience breaking things as a test engineer, quality engineer, reliability engineer, and most recently (and most enjoyably) a Product Safety / EMC Compliance Engineer. In the photo, I'm on the left.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Fashion Advice from THEM?!?

I spent this past week largely playing nursemaid to my lovely wife who had her shoulder repaired on Monday morning. Surgery went very well, which is a change for her, and she's well on the mend. This is hopefully the last hurdle for us as we try to bring last year's car accident remediation to a conclusion. Of course, after that there's the lawyers.

One of the things that I did was to read the book "The Man Who Would be King", and thought I'd give a quick book report.

Ahem: don't bother. Fortunately, it's very short, but really: just don't bother.

On to other things:

While working from home I was subjected to some of her TV tastes (as she can do nothing but sit there). On one of the days she landed on a fashion make-over show called "Head 2 Toe". It's like Trading Spaces, but the two friends get a make-over.

This is one of those things that sounds like a good idea (not that I'd watch it), but the implementation left a lot to be desired. It's either extremely new, or only had a couple of episodes, because finding information on the net about it is a tough thing to do.

The show is hosted by a fairly pretty chick named Tanika Ray. I got this image from TV.com:



Tell me she doesn't put you in mind of a hairy troll doll
<-------------------------->

The hair really gets me; she does it that way on purpose too, since it was fairly easy to find images of her with what I'd call "normal" hair. I know that I'm coming from a place of relative weakness in criticizing folks for their fashion sense, but really?

I kept peering over my laptop as this show aired, drawn to it by some macabre, almost Kafkaesque sense of  awe and curiosity.

Tanika had a few fashion consultants on the show:

One for clothes (a young lady who dressed, in my opinion, rather harlequinnish and wore way too much makeup);

A male hair stylist who sported a full head of deliberately messed up hair topped by a spiky mohawk;

A nail specialist, a woman (I think) who looked a lot like a more severe version of Dr. Frank-N-Furter with salt-and-pepper hair that was all but shaven off.

I could get used to Tanika's hair, but I just can't wrap my tiny mind around why one might seek fashion advice from the rest of the crew. Might as well get your fashion advice at a nudist colony.

Based upon this concept, these shows seem viable to me:

"The Oscars": You get your home redone by Oscar the Grouch wherein the Grouch has Oscar Madison as head of the cleaning crew.

"HELL'NS Kitchen": You get your menu prepared, cooked, and served by Helen Keller.

"Parisian SATs": Prepare for the Standard Aptitude Test with Paris Hilton

"Bush Chat": A talk show hosted by Xi, of "The Gods Must be Crazy"

"Rare Cuisine": A food show that discusses flavor and texture differences between foods like Spotted Owl, Polar Bear, and Cheetah

"Hair of the Don": Hair pointers from Donald Trump

"Smooth Talkin' Dons": Vocal lessons by Don Adams and Don Knots

How about you: any shows that you'd like to see in this genre?

7 comments:

  1. I haven't watched television in a a very long time. I stick to Breaking Bad, which only has 12 episodes per year. That should be the only show aired in television. BB all the time. Friends tell me about the shows they watch, and they are ridiculous. People hoarding junk and eating strange things. I will pass on all of that.

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  2. I'm afraid I'm not much on TV...I watch the news, hubs watches hockey and we both watch Big Bang. That's about it. Oh, I do watch Gail VazOxlade's show 'Til Debt Do Us Part. That is one savvy lady.
    Judging by what is available on the tube I would say they have outdone you in crazy themes and crazier hosts.

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  3. I avoid the television when I can - and the reality shows make me cringe. Except for Come Dine With Me. Though Come Dine With Me Greece is a much more formal, less booze laden show than either the UK or Australian versions.
    Oh, and my partner is addicted to the wrestling (she whispers).
    Rudyard Kipling always seems to me to be very hit and miss. I either love what he has written or loathe it. I don't remember The Man who would be ....
    I am glad your wife is recovering. Surgery is never fun.

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  4. I'd have loved to see something along the lines of "Home Cooking" with Jeffrey Dahmer.

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    1. I had that thought, actually; I guess I wasn't feeling my inner cannibal, though!

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  5. "Hair of the Don" gets my vote. How he does that is one modern mystery.

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  6. I got nuthin', but that was most crafty of you! Beauty makeovers... *shiver*

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