About Me

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I'm a life-long New Englander, father of 4 challenging kids (I know: I'm supposed to say "wonderful", but while that'd be true, technically speaking, it'd also be misleading), and fortunate husband to my favorite wife of more than 20 years. I've got over 20 years experience breaking things as a test engineer, quality engineer, reliability engineer, and most recently (and most enjoyably) a Product Safety / EMC Compliance Engineer. In the photo, I'm on the left.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Sittin' Around, doin' Nothin'

Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in the world in that I don't really spend a lot of time sitting around doing nothing. Yet it seems like there must be a lot of people who do (sit around and do nothing).

I say this because it seems like there are a lot of solicitors who come down my street to chat about one thing or another, and they always seem to behave as though they're doing me a favor by stopping in and occupying my time.

And it doesn't matter what I'm doing, either. One time I was working on building a deck. They showed up at the gate to my yard, hailing me in between hammer swings. I've got nails in my teeth, dirt and grime all over me, a helper calling out for measurements for him to make cuts with a circular saw. "Excuse me, do you have a minute?"

"Really?!?! Does it look like I have a minute?" I would often like to ask (and where's Bill Engvall when you need him??), but maybe it's something quick. But no, it's never quick. It's most often my friendly neighborhood Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons from the nearby church who want to talk religion. And one thing that I dislike is folks trying to talk religion at me while I've got things to do. I've had kids coming around to sell me encyclopedias (like that's a worthwhile investment in this day and age), or magazine subscriptions...whatever.

And these guys go on and on and on, like I'm doing nothing at all and have the time to sit and have tea and have a long conversation. Ah, if they only knew me, they'd know that I don't even want long conversations with people that I KNOW and like, let alone with people I don't know. Add to that and the topic of conversation isn't to my liking, and they won't stop... GAH!

Kids selling magazines, folks trying to convert me to one cable vendor or another, political "word spreaders", or drunk family and / or friends. They all MUST have lots of time on their hands, because they seem to think that I do.

In part, I understand their reticence to "letting go" of me: if I stop talking to them, they don't get a sale (or a convert). I don't like being rude to strangers, but eventually you have only one option: be rude. Close the door while they're still talking (or start the chainsaw, as I once did), and walk away. One time, the fellow had me at the front door when I had a meal cooking and a toddler roaming free. I CAN'T just stand here and entertain you; my food is burning and so might be my kid.

"Oh, ok. I don't want to keep you [caughBULLSHITcaugh], but just one last question..." I know from his three or five previous "last questions" that this is not his last question.

SLAM! When I'm out of earshot, I *might* mumble 'have a nice day', but I might not. Depends upon what they were wasting my time with and whether or not I burned supper...or the kid.

These folks are everywhere, aren't they?

13 comments:

  1. Why the heck didn't you hand them a hammer and say "if you want to talk you'll have to work."? I did that once. I was washing the walls in the kitchen when the JW came calling. I told them I had a deadline and if they wanted me to listen they were going to have to roll up their sleeves and help. They were gone lickety split.

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  2. Yar! I actually have thought about that; never pulled it out of my pocket though. Perhaps one day.

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  3. I suppose it depends on where you live. I recently moved to a city that is quite dangerous. Last month, I called the police when I spotted a potential robbery. Two hours later, the police arrived. No one approaches me, or knocks on my door, except children selling candy. Of course, they are always welcome.

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    1. At least they were children selling candy! Big bars of chocolate for $1! Or perhaps I'm dating myself...again...just like high school. :(

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  4. Last week I closed my door in the faces of 3 Jehovah's Witnesses with a "Thank you!" a la Simon Cowell. If these peddlers of whatever (after all, it's door to door sales at heart) think it's fine to rudely push themselves into my time then they deserve rudeness. Creeps that they are.

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  5. We get inundated in this neighbourhood. Too many houses close together. Our 'no soliciting' sign is useless. They either don't know what it means, or they use another tactic when it's a charity... "I'm not soliciting hahahahahha". Very funny. Not. Ultimately, you want my money. And soooo pushy. I was always very polite, but I'm getting ruder because I have to be. I'd like to put a trap on the porch, really.

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    1. I hear you: it's a sad statement that these folks keep pushing until you have to practically push them away. Too bad I don't have kids in diapers anymore - I could suggest that they change the diaper! Maybe I'll wait 'till I'm in diapers and use that...

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  6. I don't blame you. At some point, you just have to let them know that you've got far more important shit to do than listen to their moral peddling. On the telephone side of it, you could do what Bryan does, and play terrible songs at them with your keypad until they hang up. He's funny like that.

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    1. Hehe...too bad I've got the musical inclination of...of...something that's not musical at all. Like a rap singer or Madonna.

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  7. you, my good sir, and bloody awesome and deserve a gold star! i am following you and stalking this blog and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it. check out mine in case you want to stalk me too?
    f-a-i-r-y-l-i-g-h-t-s.blogspot.com

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    1. Welcome to my little corner of insanity, Catherine. I'll be sure to stop in and see what your stockings...I mean stalkings look like! Thanks for the kind wordses.

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  8. Yeah, I don't understand the mindset of people who think they can monopolize your time even when it should be obvious to them that you're not even slightly interested. Do some people actually change their mind when presented with "one last question"? I can't imagine so.

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  9. Usually I just let my dog out bark them. My blog is a curmudgeon blog also.

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