Hair = Confidence???

So I keep running into things - commercials, personal experiences, readings, news items...etc - that have me asking what the hell people are thinking.

I'm sure that everyone has this reaction once in a while; it might also be known as 'Why would you do that?'

The TV tells me that if you're a man, you need to have hair, and that hair needs to have no gray in it. What the hell are they thinking? The fact that there are a seemingly rapidly growing number of kits, solutions, comb-ins, and technologies suggests to me that there's a large and growing market for this 'fix'.

Men all around at least the USA seem to be under the impression that they are NOT men unless that are both NOT bald and NOT gray. What the hell are they thinking?

I know, I'm educated and successful, I get along with most everyone I meet and I enjoy doing a wide variety of things. But, dammit, I've got these gray hairs! How on earth am I supposed to attract a woman with these gray hairs? I'll never get ahead in business either! How can I possibly win at Parcheesi with these thrice-damned gray hairs?? I can't do *any*thing because I've got Grays! Boo-hoo-hooo...I've gotta DO something about this atrocity!

At least I'm not BALD...I'm not THAT GUY. I can dye my hair, but him? That cue-ball's got problems.

What the hell are they thinking? Am I off base?  Personally, I like my grays...I earned them!

Being that you folkses are largely readers of the feminine persuasion, you tell me: does it really matter that much that I've got gray hairs? Or that I'm bald?

I can't figure out why my confidence as a man and as a person should be emaciated by the fact that my hair is no longer what it was when I was a kid...any thoughts?

Technical Troubles

I always have excuses. This is one of those things that's kind of a family legacy for me: coming up with excuses for why something didn't get done, or hasn't gotten done, or why I'm not doing it now. My kids have it too. It's a gift, and a curse.

In the case that I'm thinking of now is that I've gotten a new laptop as a gift to myself, and have been dicking with it for over two weeks, as it stubbornly refused to remain connected to my wireless network for longer than an hour at a time. Thus, I've been neglecting my corner of insanity. Sorry.

I had engaged my brother - the multi-talented Grumpy IT Guy - take a look at it, and he did indeed get the device up on my wireless network without having to reboot the wireless router (this hadn't happened before this!). I fed him steak and such, and I was happy until he went home and my laptop disconnected from the router, and would not reconnect.

Next day, he walked me through a bunch of diagnostics and OS delving, but I ran out of time before he could resolve it...he was going to do some research anyway.

Of important note is the fact that trials and tribulations that I face are NEVER normal. I've been going through a ton of IT troubles lately, both at home and at work (you may recall that I'm newly arrived at a new job). I can't count the number of times in the last month that an IT support person has said to me, "...that's really strange...I've never seen that before." Or, "Huh...that's always worked before, let me get back to you."

You know when people say it's not you? It's always me. :)

At work, our primary help desk is populated by folks from India. They are very capable people, but I can't hear them worth a damn. They speak very softly (or the phone line is muted between India and the USA).

"I can't hear you, can you speak more loudly please?"

"Is this better?"

My thoughts: This is the third time that I've asked, it's no better...remember to not answer the phone when this number pops up."
My words: "Yeah." Strain to hear from this moment out...my phone's volume is at max.

As much as my brother (and all IT professionals, as far as I can tell) will tell you how frustrating it is to work with stupid clients, I'd like to put on the table that there are two sides to that argument.

My new laptop is a Dell. I'm a 20 year Windows guy, and I've had lots of different laptop manufacturers and keep coming back to Dell. I did get a call from an agent of Dell to ask how things were going with my new purchase. I thought this was super cool, though I had to tell him 'not so well'. He 'ported me over to technical assistance immediately, where I landed on an idiot of an IT professional who really pissed me off.

The essence of my irritation with this dolt was the half hour that I spent telling him over and over that I could not connect my new laptop to the wireless network.

Of course, I had already explained my symptom three times before getting to this guy, and then once more to him: I can't connect my laptop to the wireless network.

His first comment:
"Ok, we can fix this for you, I just need to take remote control of your computer.

My thoughts:
"What the hell's the matter with you? I *just* told you that my problem is that I can't connect to the router!"
My words:
"But I can't connect to the router, I have no internet access."

His second comment:
"Oh, yeah, just go ahead and connect to your network."

My thoughts:
"Oh, my frickin' word! You're either not listening, stupid, or both!"
My words:
"I can't do that. That's my whole problem."

His third comment:
"Right, right...sorry. Just connect up and we'll fix this for you right away."

My thoughts:
Censored due to possible impressionable people reading this.
My words:
"Are you even listening? Do you somehow NOT understand that I can't connect to the internet? Have you NOT seen or heard that my whole problem here is that I CAN'T connect to the internet??

His next comments:
Who the hell knows, other than "I have to be able to take remote control of your computer..." blah, blah, blah...at this point I wasn't listening to him any closer than he was listening to me.

We agreed that he'd call me back the next night, when I could connect to the router via hard cable...the old fashioned way.

Hang the hell up.

As much as IT professionals complain about the stupidity of their clients, I have to say that in the last month I've run into more than one questionable IT professional. The guy I describe above takes the cake for these folks.

The night after the above happened I scrounged up an ethernet cable and connected the laptop to the router the old fashioned way, but the SOB didn't call back (which was really a bit of a relief).

I called in, and got connected to a lovely lady (Cheryl, I think) in Dell's Wireless Network support group. I say she's lovely for a few reasons: 1) I could hear her; b) I could understand her clearly; iii) she fixed my problem (in less than a half of an hour)!!

I kind of regret not giving the brother the opportunity to complete this little project, but he got bombarded by idiots at work, and I had gotten the call from Dell anyway. My eldest son has a similar Dell laptop with a similar problem...we fixed that too.

Gadzooks, eh??

Not Quite Random Requests to Link Up

I may be overreacting on this one, but nothing frosts me like requests to connect on Linkedin from total strangers. I get these pretty regularly, and it seems to me that the people sending the requests are completely missing the point of that service.

For those of you who don't use that service, Linkedin is a professional social networking site where you can link up with folks who you know from work, or from professional societies, or from other professional connections that you might have with them. Naturally, there's a certain amount of linking up with friends, but this is not a place where one goes to play with each other.

To me, the idea is that you would link up with people who you know (first and foremost), and for whom you have at least a modicum of respect. You need to have these filters in place, because i'm goign to look in Linkedin to find someone (for instance) who works at a company that you're considering applying to. Or, you might go looking for someone who either currently works with or used to work with a candidate that you're about to interview for a job.

The whole point of Linkedin is to have a network of professional contacts and aquaintences on whom you can count when you need a little insight, or professional advice. Or even to whom you might be able to help in these capacities.

I really hate getting Linkedin requests from people because we're in the same group: "You and I are both in the bird watcher's group...we should totally hook up!"

Or requests based upon the fact that we have mutual contacts: "Hey! You and I both know Dave...we should totally hook up!"

And mostly from headhunters...er...recruiters, who really just want nothing more than to have another contact in their virtual Rolodex and access to a whole other group of contacts. Of course, this one I at least understand, from the point of view of the headhunter.

Ok...headhunters are almost mostly...mostly from people just trying to amass as many connections as they can.

Linkedin is a tool that helps me to maintain contact with professional colleagues who I would really rather not lose track of. It is not a toy, not a popularity contest, not a fishing hole, not speed dating, not farmville (or professionalville).

Leave me and my linkedin account the hell alone if you don't know me. There's a reason I'm not in facefrigginbook.

See what sort of little things can push an otherwise sane man off a cliff?

Happy Father's Day!

Let me first say a genuine "Happy Father's Day" to all the fathers out there.

Now, acknowledging that I have thus far had a very nice Father's Day, in this year of 2012. My lovely wife went pretty far out of her way to treat me extra nice today, and she and I even took three of the kids (the oldest is working) golfing! This is something that we have never done as a family, and she and I, due to medical issues, have not golfed in 4 years. We did have a splendid time, and now I'm bushed!

That all said, I do have a long-standing whine about Father's Day, and I'm going to share that with you fine folks.

It is said that the busiest day of the year for the telephone companies (here in the US, at any rate) is Father’s Day. That is to say that people all over the country are calling their father on that special day to speak with him. On the surface, this seems like a very sweet gesture: reach out and show that you care. When I heard this statistic I thought it odd: Father’s Day gets more attention than Mother’s Day? 

But after some thought and conversations with friends I came to be aware that the reason for this seeming anomaly - this apparent preference for fathers - is that on Father’s Day, offspring call their sires to say “Hi” and “Happy Father’s Day”. On Mother’s day, you’re in a load of trouble if you call. You bloody well had better show up. You need to take that special woman to breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner. Bring her flowers, chocolate, gifts, cards, praise, etc. For dad, you don’t even need to get out of bed. Reach over to the phone, hit the speed dial, and hope that the answering machine picks up. That’s Father’s Day.

Here’s another interesting point: on Mother’s Day, Mom wants to have people around her. She wants everyone to show up and kiss her cheek, and (most importantly and most difficult) get along. On Father’s Day, what does Dad want? Dad wants to be peace and quiet. Some calm. Some tranquility. Get the hell out! Leave me to have a day of peace. Unfortunately, there’s no football on. But a day off is what dad wants.

This, of course, based upon what I've heard at the Father's Support Groups.

"Hi. My name's Dave, and I'm a father."

[collectively] "Hi, Dave."

Fishing comes up quite a bit. Golfing. Usually Father's Day looks very different from a day on the lake, however.

The problem here is in who plans the events for each of these days? Daughters and wives, that’s who plans them. So mom gets to have her family around on Mother’s Day, and on Father’s Day dad gets…the same thing that mom wants: to have his family around.

The other problem with Father’s Day is that it is in the middle of the sunny season. I say that this is a problem because at this time of year there’s a lot of crap to do around the house. Mowing, raking, landscaping, home repairs, home improvements, auto work, you know, that list that never ends. There’s a host of jobs around the house that can only be done in the sunny weather. Also, at this time of year is when people have their weddings, christenings, graduation parties, cook-outs (at which it is usually dad manning the grill).

Not to blow my own anonymity, but we do have a distant family member who had a baby on my very first Father's Day. This in and of itself was not an issue, until a year later when she decided that the little tyke's birthday part was going to be ON Father's Day. This meant, of course, that I was socially obligated on Father's Day, which is exactly what I DON'T want. I was similarly socially obligated on the next 9 Father's Days.

Get that? My first 10 Father's Days were spent at a family party, when all that I wanted was to relax and get away from people (especially being as introverted as I am).

Father’s Day needs to be moved to early January. At least in my neck of the woods, this is the perfect time of the year to have a Sunday whose purpose is for dad to have a day off. There can be no cook-outs. There can be no house painting. Nobody graduates in January, and fewer people want to have weddings in the winter, leading to less opportunity for Dad’s special day to be commandeered by social obligations. Also, there’s no yard work. You don’t work in the driveway on your car unless you really have to. You know what there is on Sunday in January? Football. And not just any football; it’s the playoffs. That’s what dad wants. To top this off, people are just coming off of the holidays, which means that they’re in debt, drunk (or at least hung over) and with luck, snowed in.

Peace.

Quiet.

I'm hoping that I'm not the only one who wants to move Father's Day into January...anyone else interested?