About Me

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I'm a life-long New Englander, father of 4 challenging kids (I know: I'm supposed to say "wonderful", but while that'd be true, technically speaking, it'd also be misleading), and fortunate husband to my favorite wife of more than 20 years. I've got over 20 years experience breaking things as a test engineer, quality engineer, reliability engineer, and most recently (and most enjoyably) a Product Safety / EMC Compliance Engineer. In the photo, I'm on the left.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Long Drive with a Large Cup of Coffee and a Lollipop

I must admit: I'm not feeling it tonight; haven't been for the last few days. I'm just plain tired of so many different things, I haven't found the gumption to laugh for days.

Ah, well.

During a meeting at work today, one of the upper managers opened what was apparently a carbonated beverage that had been a bit shaken, if not stirred. That's always fun. Reminded me of a recent drive I took with my wife: our weekend away. It should be noted that on trips like this, my wife drives, as she hates the way that I drive (which, in her words, is like an old man), and she's a bit of a control freak.

As we drove our truck northerly, penetrating that much further along the Maine coast, the wife was licking on a lollipop. Not just any pop, this was a barley pop - one of those heavy lollipops that look like thick sea glass mounted to a wooden (not cardboard) holding stick; this one was a blue light house. At some point, she decided that she no longer wanted it, but where to put a half-eaten glob of now-semi-hard sugar?

Well, fortunately, she also had recently had a cup of coffee, now cold, stale, and half-gone. The half-filled Styrofoam cup was sitting derelict in this little cup holder that popped out of the truck's dash. In went the unwanted confectionery, though the largish wooden ball on the end of the lollipop holder caused the coffee cup's lid to not sit properly. It seemed obvious to me that the lid, which had coffee on it still, would fall off of the cup and get coffee spots in my beautiful truck. This, of course, would not do at all.

It occurred to me that if I could push that wooden ball through the cup lid's sipping hole, then the cover would sit properly and NOT get coffee everywhere. A grand idea. Except I didn't think forward the half-minute to where the wooden stick might poke through the bottom of the cup, filling the cup holder with old coffee. Ugh.
And worse: the cup holder holds two cups of coffee, and in the second holder is an upside-down iPhone.

Now, what to do with a leaking cup of coffee? There's really only one answer: out the window with the coffee (not the cup). But this is an operation that must be done quickly, not only to save the iPhone, but also: as the coffee will continue to drip out of the bottom of the cup as I try to move it from the cup holder to the window.

Step 1: hit the button to open the truck's window;
Step 2: pull the iPhone from the growing pool of coffee;
Step 3: grab the cup of coffee, being very careful to put a finger over the hole in the bottom of the cup (to keep that coffee from leaking from the cup);
Step 4: quickly get the coffee out of the window;
Step 5: WISH that when I had hit the button to open that window, that the window actually opened.

And that's the story of how I took a coffee shower while riding in my truck.


  1. You may not be feeling like laughing at the moment, but I am sorry to say that I chuckles (in rueful recognition) at your disaster with the coffee. Sorry.

  2. Well, maybe you didn't/don't feel like laughing but I'm still wheezing over the picture you painted. You can always count on a blog friend to laugh at your misery.
    Hope you climb out of your slump soon and start to feel more cheerful.

  3. Heh, you know, I can actually see that happening... That's almost as bad as when I was recovering from that chest cold, and thought my window was open... Not only did I smack my head trying to stick my head out, but I had a nasty mess to clean up too.

  4. Thanks! The wife and I laughed very hard as we cleaned up the mess, which was all over the truck, and in my hypocrisy, I must admit that I would no doubt be very upset at a kid who did the same thing. Thank goodness I was the one who did it.