One thing that I really hate doing is talking on the phone. I did that when I was dating my wife because I wanted some and it wasn't guaranteed or permanent. But even with my best friends, I do hate talking on the phone.
I have a brother with whom I DO typically enjoy talking on the phone, but that's because of the typical brevity of our conversations. Even a call on a birthday might look like this:
*ring*
Well, actually, *Vibrate*
Check name on caller ID.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"What's up?"
"Nothing. Just called to say "Happy Birthday."
"Oh, cool. Thanks."
"Ok."
"See you."
"Yup."
/hang up.
Awesome. A full conversation in less than a minute.
As a rule, I don't answer my house phone (so don't expect me to answer someone else's house phone). Sometimes I do, though, or the office phone at work, which you're more or less obliged to answer most of the time. I really despise it when I answer, and you get that little click that lets you know that you've been called by a computer, and then a computer starts telling you that they have a very important phone call for you.
If the call is so damn important, you should be making it with a person.
Or how about "Please call our office at XXX-YYY-ZZZZ as soon as possible on a very important business matter." Well, I'm not in the habit of calling strangers; who are you? What is "our office", exactly? Sometimes I think that if I call that number, I'll find that it's re-routed to a Nigerian Prince who has some issues that only I can help him with, and all that I need to do is to give him a bank routing number for which he'll pay me a million dollars in a month. If that dope needs to get money into America, all he needs to do is to contact a drug cartel...they seem to have figured it out pretty well.
Even worse is at politics time: phone rings and if you pick it up you find that it's a prerecorded message from some candidate running for the office of State Liar who desperately wants your vote. Those messages are about five minutes long and you don't have the opportunity to ask questions! You do have the opportunity to hit "delete" though. I love my delete button. Those buggers call about every evening too. ALL of them. One Liar position open, and five people running for it. Of course, those calls wouldn't be better if a human was on the other side of the phone, because then I'd have to be rude!
About Me
- SarcasticTestGuy
- I'm a life-long New Englander, father of 4 challenging kids (I know: I'm supposed to say "wonderful", but while that'd be true, technically speaking, it'd also be misleading), and fortunate husband to my favorite wife of more than 20 years. I've got over 20 years experience breaking things as a test engineer, quality engineer, reliability engineer, and most recently (and most enjoyably) a Product Safety / EMC Compliance Engineer. In the photo, I'm on the left.
I developed a serious aversion to phone calls after 20 years in the insurance industry. A phone ringing on an underwriters desk is rarely a good thing. Now, retired, I am happy to say the phone rings an average of twice a week. Typical conversation, "everything okay over there?" "yes" "Okay, catch you later. Bye." or "Are you going to be here for Johns Beaver night?" "Yes" "Okay, see you then. Bye." I like it. Nothing jangles the nerves like a ringing phone.
ReplyDeleteYou're my kind of people, Delores. I promise to not call!
DeleteI like when machines call me because I don't feel so terrible when I hang up on them. I didn't upset or hurt anyone.
ReplyDeleteYar...I couldn't agree more. I'm going to hang up anyway, but at least I don't feel so conflicted about hanging up on a computer!
DeleteMy once a month conversation with my son is pretty much like yours and your brotherrs. - and he mostly does it in a text message. Where is the love? The good thing is that I have three daughters that call, text, and visit.
ReplyDeleteGuys express love differently than women do. Sorry. :)
DeleteAt least he communicates...some of us don't at all, but that doesn't mean there's no love. Have faith!
We are not big on answering the phone here either. There is an ongoing scam (we assume it is a scam). Someone who has a marked Indian accent rings and says they are calling from MicroSoft technology and our computer has a virus which needs urgent action. When asked to put it in writing they hang up. But they can call four or five times a day. Grrr.
ReplyDeletePretty clearly a scam. Time to get rid of the phone!
DeleteI am said brother.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, I gotta say being on the phone sucks. Actually the Ol Crum... curmu... bastard and I talk more now via text. Ironically, I think because our mutual fundamental respect for the WRITTEN English language, the conversations are longer via text than they used to be over the phone.
Welcome aboard, Grumpy! How's things down your neck of the woods? :)
DeleteThat's, "...because OF..."
ReplyDelete