Sittin' Around, doin' Nothin'

Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in the world in that I don't really spend a lot of time sitting around doing nothing. Yet it seems like there must be a lot of people who do (sit around and do nothing).

I say this because it seems like there are a lot of solicitors who come down my street to chat about one thing or another, and they always seem to behave as though they're doing me a favor by stopping in and occupying my time.

And it doesn't matter what I'm doing, either. One time I was working on building a deck. They showed up at the gate to my yard, hailing me in between hammer swings. I've got nails in my teeth, dirt and grime all over me, a helper calling out for measurements for him to make cuts with a circular saw. "Excuse me, do you have a minute?"

"Really?!?! Does it look like I have a minute?" I would often like to ask (and where's Bill Engvall when you need him??), but maybe it's something quick. But no, it's never quick. It's most often my friendly neighborhood Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons from the nearby church who want to talk religion. And one thing that I dislike is folks trying to talk religion at me while I've got things to do. I've had kids coming around to sell me encyclopedias (like that's a worthwhile investment in this day and age), or magazine subscriptions...whatever.

And these guys go on and on and on, like I'm doing nothing at all and have the time to sit and have tea and have a long conversation. Ah, if they only knew me, they'd know that I don't even want long conversations with people that I KNOW and like, let alone with people I don't know. Add to that and the topic of conversation isn't to my liking, and they won't stop... GAH!

Kids selling magazines, folks trying to convert me to one cable vendor or another, political "word spreaders", or drunk family and / or friends. They all MUST have lots of time on their hands, because they seem to think that I do.

In part, I understand their reticence to "letting go" of me: if I stop talking to them, they don't get a sale (or a convert). I don't like being rude to strangers, but eventually you have only one option: be rude. Close the door while they're still talking (or start the chainsaw, as I once did), and walk away. One time, the fellow had me at the front door when I had a meal cooking and a toddler roaming free. I CAN'T just stand here and entertain you; my food is burning and so might be my kid.

"Oh, ok. I don't want to keep you [caughBULLSHITcaugh], but just one last question..." I know from his three or five previous "last questions" that this is not his last question.

SLAM! When I'm out of earshot, I *might* mumble 'have a nice day', but I might not. Depends upon what they were wasting my time with and whether or not I burned supper...or the kid.

These folks are everywhere, aren't they?